Who Am I?
Part of my name is Bet Crooks, but my friends and family call me something else. Sometimes, it’s not even something rude!
I am writing online as Bet Crooks to keep my kids from disowning me. I need them to visit me in the nursing home (preferably with chocolate!) so I want to keep them happy.
The Mystery of the Writer’s Name
Readers with way too much time on their hands, and a hyper-developed sense of curiousity, may decide to figure out my entire name. It shouldn’t be that difficult: it’s not like I work for CSIS or that I’m in a witness protection program. The only warning I offer is that when you figure it out, you are still going to find the answer incredibly boring. Sorry!
Why I Am Writing Here
My main purpose in writing for this blog and website is to get back into the practice of writing steadily.
My secondary purpose is to try to hide from my kids in the basement. (Another clue! See “The Mystery of the Writer’s Name”, above)
My third, oops, tertiary purpose is to create content for editors to skim before rejecting my submissions with a flourish of red ink.
My fourth, er quaternary, purpose is secret, very hush hush. It has to do with AdSense, AbeBooks, Amazon, and Affiliates. In fact a whole host of A’ses. Um. I think I’ll edit that out later.
Why I Am Specifically Writing Helpful Information
I took a very long, detailed psych test once that said I would most enjoy being a teacher or a writer. I am hoping to combine both of these interests of mine through the happy medium of the internet.
I have been told by a very unbiased source (Hi, Mom!) that I can sometimes write instructions for computer tasks that help. And another incredibly unbiased source (Hi, Sunshine!) says that I am very bossy and love to give painfully detailed instructions.
So, late one night, I thought, “Why not unleash through the internet my compelling need to have the entire world do things my way? Think of all of the thousands of people I could exasperate, irritate and annoy with the single click of a mouse?!”
Am I Qualified For This?
Perhaps. I do have a degree in Engineering, but it’s not in a useful discipline like Mechanical or Electrical. That means I’m not qualified to tell you why your house is leaning (unless I do extensive research) nor can I tell you why re-charging your iPod makes your microwave turn on. However I can tell you why if you cook chocolate pudding too long it gets watery again. I won’t, but I can.
Engineering taught me one thing: how to solve a problem. (Obviously not how to write a grammatical sentence.) That knowledge has helped me throughout my life in every job I’ve held.
I also have a certificate in Technical Writing. Or at least I still have it until any of my alma mater instructors reads this blog. Then I will likely get stripped of it ceremonially by an honour guard of writers wearing horn-rimmed glasses and RSI-preventative wrist guards.
It’s true that I do not have a degree in finance or economics. However, I have no debt. None! Not even a mortgage! And I’m under 50. And we have a house, some money in the bank, some in the market, and some in the Government of Canada’s coffers.
Anyway, enough about me!
Welcome Honoured Readers
Who are you?
What mysterious force has drawn you here to my website and blog?
If you’re looking for specific information or instructions and I don’t offer them, please let me know. Maybe I can get something useful written for you in the future.
Which reminds me: I guess the quinary reason I’m writing here is for that swooping feeling I get when I help someone solve a problem. So ask a question, or raise an issue, and help me fly.